Oh, puns!

Oh, puns!

We’ve made a lot of hay over Michael Steele’s ridonkulous (-izzle?) comments over the last few days. Stephen Colbert wrapped it all up quite nicely on Thursday night’s show.

Damn, that Steele has a way with words. So…eloquent.

No word yet on the status of Steele’s record deal, but my guess is that it could rival John Ashcroft’s classic hit single Let The Eagle Soar.

– A-$

Are you unbelievably bored? Do you need to fall asleep, but you can’t find any Tylenol PM? Are traditional forms of suicide too inefficient? 

You’re in luck! Soph-dawg and I are livebrogging Dimitri Landa’s gripping new Political Theory lecture. Read about all of your favorite characters, including The Forty-Year-Old Virgin and even the Bald Eagle!

You can read the brog here.

The Dragnet

2 March 2009

 

Tupac lives?

Tupac lives?

This morning on da internetz:

– A-$

Which one's the comedian? (Trick question)

Which one's the comedian? (Trick question)

Ah, Jindal. 

Apparently, the “Blagojevich of the Right” has an insatiable appetite for tickling my funnybone. Remember that heartwarming story he shared, when the GOP wunderkind stood shoulder-to-shoulder with Sheriff (and bigot) Harry Lee after Katrina? Turns out it is as big of a lie as the bullshit about the monorail from LA to Vegas (actually a great idea) that he spewed during his touching response to BHO Tuesday night.

This piece of news merely confirms what I’ve always suspected: Newt Gingrich and Ann Coulter descended from the heavens and daintily placed a gilded halo on the Jindster’s coiffed cabeza. Jindal is the GOP’s chosen one, and rather than cast off the shackles of dirty Rovian politics, Steele’s Republican party will attempt to swift-boat his way to victory in ’10 and ’12.

Problem: It didn’t work this year, and it won’t work in the future.

As much as I would love to see the GOP crash and burn through another election cycle, our political discourse would be truly elevated by an intelligent, constructive debate. The time has come to set the whack jobs free. 

The GOP had that chance this weekend at the CPAC conference, but instead decided to go the nincompoop route. On Dasher, Dancer, Prancer and Vixen! On Joe the Unlicensed, Tax-Evading Plumber and Mitt “Golden Underwear” Romney!

But “Da Man” Michael Steele did leave room for one fresh-faced intellectual to lead the way, an inspiring voice that would brush away the toe-tapping, draft-dodging, heck-of-a-job-Brownieing of the past. A keynote speaker who could bring the Republican party out of the cold, and into electoral heaven.

His name is Jonathan Krohn, and he is thirteen years old.

2009 should be another great year for SNL.

– A-$

GOP Gone Wild

27 February 2009

For any bleeding-heart liberals who don’t have time to sift through the New York Times editorials looking for fodder and/or ammo, I give you Paul Jenkins’ Worst Week Ever: Republicans Unhinged.

Sort of a liberal multivitamin.

Say what you will about nobler, issue-oriented journalism. At the end of a long week, this was thoroughly enjoyable. Among other things, Jenkins criticizes

  • Alabama Senator Richard Shelby, who “has not seen any birth certificate” confirming that Obama is American
  • Mitt Romney, who spent $100 million on a “creepy presidential campaign” and “this week decided to come to the financial rescue of embattled Republicans who are ‘standing up for fiscal responsibility and saying no to spending abuse’….that’s right, the man who spent $400,000 per delegate in the Republican primary is proudly lecturing others about fiscal responsibility.”
  • Bobby Jindal, but we knew that.
  • RNC leader Michael Steele, who unified viewers of all political persuasions in weird-outed-ness over his comment to FoxNews (on possibly withdrawing funds from GOP Senators who supported the stimulus bill):  “Oh, yes, I’m always open to everything, baby, absolutely.” Eeeeek.

Continuing in the spirit of just doin’ it for the LOLS: In this clip, Jack McBrayer (who plays Kenneth on 30 Rock) responds on “Late Night with Jimmy Fallon” to the aforementioned comparison between his character and Jindal.

-S

Late night at the corral…

27 February 2009

Here’s what’s a-grindin’ my gears at the moment:

Minnesota congresswoman Michele “Whitest-human-being-on-the-earth’s-crust” Bachmann reminds nubile GOP chairman Michael Steele that “[he] be da man.” Classy, Bachmann, classy.

Did you forget why we care about Shelly? Perhaps you forgot her Election ’08 antics. 

Those were the days…

archie-1

– A-$

This goddamn holiday again.

I’ve decided to completely ignore the fact that this is my maiden voyage on the tepid seas of the blogosphere, and focus on my annual Mardi Gras Gripe: I want my nickname to be “the big easy.” Granted, it would probably go better with someone already named Ettie or Bertha (maybe even Mabel), but I feel it could provide that certain flare that my life is missing.

– A-$

Oh, and Bobby Jindal has the intellect of an egg McMuffin.

Snarky enough for ya, Soph-Dawg?

Velcome.

26 February 2009

From the wonderful toothpastefordinner, entitled “It won’t solve the problem.”

https://i2.wp.com/www.elementlist.com/images/unhappytryblogging.jpg

This is The Electric Table, and this is our very first entry. Soon we’ll have detailed, spiffy bios up, as well as many, many other things. A-Money, I expect, will provide relevance, intellect, wit, gruff charm, links to delightful Huffington Post articles, facial hair, all things snarky, and the feminist perspective. I have high hopes but I will probably be in charged of mixed metaphors, oohing and ahhing over Michelle/Malia/Sasha, and meticulously logging all the mundane details of my day.

I feel I should make a compelling plug for the masses to read this blog EVERY day. All I can think of is “read this blog a lot.” A-Money? Help?

-S