Infrastructure improvements? Out of my cold, dead hands.

Infrastructure improvements? Out of my cold, dead hands!

Aristotle’s fundamental political binary categorizes governments as either true or perverted, a means of characterization that, however simplistic, still holds water in examining modern political moments. Among his criteria for true government is the requirement for the ruling body to “govern with a view to the common interest.” A ruler in such a state is concerned only with advancing the condition of his subjects.

Perversion of government by trivial individualized issues is, unfortunately, all too common within our federal government. The election of Barack Obama to the Presidency, while producing a tangible change in attitude towards the manipulation of government for personal ends, failed to eliminate the sort of self-interest that drove O’Connor to throw the 2000 election to Bush on the basis of political passion and a selfish desire to retire.

The recent political grandstanding by Republican governors Jindal of Louisiana, Sanford of South Carolina and Palin of Alaska serves as a potent example of personal ambitions and aspirations getting in the way of the public good. President Obama’s recent economic recovery and reinvestment package was designed to cushion the blow of the current economic calamity on the middle class while jump-starting the nation’s productivity and financial stability. Governors Jindal, Sanford and Palin, all hoping to capture the Republican Presidential nomination, have all publicly refused to accept important portions of the stimulus funds for their states. Though the governors cite a perceived advent of “big government,” “tax-and-spend liberalism” and “socialism” for their refusal of these vital funds, politicians, pundits and laymen alike realize the personal reasons behind the refusal of this money.

Governor Jindal, for example, appeared on national television mocking stimulus funding for disaster readiness barely four years after the deplorable federal response to Hurricane Katrina. The governors, pandering to their political base in order to secure their place at the top of the 2012 ticket, are ignoring the urgent needs of their constituents in order to advance their own careers. 

Aristotle’s characterization of such perversions? Tyranny.

Take that, teabaggers.

– A-$

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The Dragnet

3 March 2009

 

I can haz ur First Amendment rights?

I can haz ur First Amendment rights?

The morning roundup, for your reading pleasure:

Lastly, we’d like to welcome our newest blogger, the Nandinator. She will contribute wit and/or witticisms, obscure pop-culture references, Stewart-Colbert ’12 campaign updates and an undying love for Ann Coulter.

– A-$

Which one's the comedian? (Trick question)

Which one's the comedian? (Trick question)

Ah, Jindal. 

Apparently, the “Blagojevich of the Right” has an insatiable appetite for tickling my funnybone. Remember that heartwarming story he shared, when the GOP wunderkind stood shoulder-to-shoulder with Sheriff (and bigot) Harry Lee after Katrina? Turns out it is as big of a lie as the bullshit about the monorail from LA to Vegas (actually a great idea) that he spewed during his touching response to BHO Tuesday night.

This piece of news merely confirms what I’ve always suspected: Newt Gingrich and Ann Coulter descended from the heavens and daintily placed a gilded halo on the Jindster’s coiffed cabeza. Jindal is the GOP’s chosen one, and rather than cast off the shackles of dirty Rovian politics, Steele’s Republican party will attempt to swift-boat his way to victory in ’10 and ’12.

Problem: It didn’t work this year, and it won’t work in the future.

As much as I would love to see the GOP crash and burn through another election cycle, our political discourse would be truly elevated by an intelligent, constructive debate. The time has come to set the whack jobs free. 

The GOP had that chance this weekend at the CPAC conference, but instead decided to go the nincompoop route. On Dasher, Dancer, Prancer and Vixen! On Joe the Unlicensed, Tax-Evading Plumber and Mitt “Golden Underwear” Romney!

But “Da Man” Michael Steele did leave room for one fresh-faced intellectual to lead the way, an inspiring voice that would brush away the toe-tapping, draft-dodging, heck-of-a-job-Brownieing of the past. A keynote speaker who could bring the Republican party out of the cold, and into electoral heaven.

His name is Jonathan Krohn, and he is thirteen years old.

2009 should be another great year for SNL.

– A-$