Snark aside, here is something that has always eluded me about politics: how Republicans have managed to run as the party of tax cuts.

(This is prompted by a note in my inbox, courtesy of Michael Steele and the GOP newsletter, which is good for lols and keeping up with what the other side is doing. Anyway, it accuses Obama of egregious tax hikes, and I’m confused.)

I understand the philosophical dispute between big government and small government, federal spending vs. putting money back in the pockets of the people, mmmmhmm. I do. And I love me some New Deal, but I understand that there are you know, plumbers and people named Joe out there who would rather see tax breaks than an expansion of government programs.


What I just really, really, really don’t get is how the GOP maneuvered this one. I picture a round-table discussion where these things are divvied up. The Republicans say, “We want ‘Lincoln’s Party'” and the Democrats grit their teeth and think about how the parties have really flipped 180 degrees since then, but, Fine.

Then the Republicans say, “We also want ‘Party of Tax Cuts!'” Somebody on the Democratic side scratches his head and protests that Democrats advocate tax cuts for 95% of the country, as opposed to, say, the wealthiest 5%. Everybody nods uncomfortably–Yeah, I don’t know. I think maybe we’re the party of tax cuts...

This is where I get lost. What happens? Is there a fistfight? Who’s in? I imagine Condie and Karl Rove, and then when I picture Dennis Kucinich, bless his heart, trying to duke it out with either of them, I sort of understand how we got here. “Here” being an administration that cuts taxes for 95% of the country and has to defend itself against “the party of low taxes.” Am I just “What’s the Matter With Kansas?”-ing?


The Dragnet

2 March 2009


Tupac lives?

Tupac lives?

This morning on da internetz:

– A-$

Which one's the comedian? (Trick question)

Which one's the comedian? (Trick question)

Ah, Jindal. 

Apparently, the “Blagojevich of the Right” has an insatiable appetite for tickling my funnybone. Remember that heartwarming story he shared, when the GOP wunderkind stood shoulder-to-shoulder with Sheriff (and bigot) Harry Lee after Katrina? Turns out it is as big of a lie as the bullshit about the monorail from LA to Vegas (actually a great idea) that he spewed during his touching response to BHO Tuesday night.

This piece of news merely confirms what I’ve always suspected: Newt Gingrich and Ann Coulter descended from the heavens and daintily placed a gilded halo on the Jindster’s coiffed cabeza. Jindal is the GOP’s chosen one, and rather than cast off the shackles of dirty Rovian politics, Steele’s Republican party will attempt to swift-boat his way to victory in ’10 and ’12.

Problem: It didn’t work this year, and it won’t work in the future.

As much as I would love to see the GOP crash and burn through another election cycle, our political discourse would be truly elevated by an intelligent, constructive debate. The time has come to set the whack jobs free. 

The GOP had that chance this weekend at the CPAC conference, but instead decided to go the nincompoop route. On Dasher, Dancer, Prancer and Vixen! On Joe the Unlicensed, Tax-Evading Plumber and Mitt “Golden Underwear” Romney!

But “Da Man” Michael Steele did leave room for one fresh-faced intellectual to lead the way, an inspiring voice that would brush away the toe-tapping, draft-dodging, heck-of-a-job-Brownieing of the past. A keynote speaker who could bring the Republican party out of the cold, and into electoral heaven.

His name is Jonathan Krohn, and he is thirteen years old.

2009 should be another great year for SNL.

– A-$